Swedes have a global reputation as blunt, somewhat rude, and honest people who generally stay quiet.
This custom often worries foreigners who visit Sweden, as most people from the USA and the UK are accustomed to saying hello to passersby, sparking up conversations about the weather, and sharing pleasantries with strangers.
However, in Sweden, this small talk is considered rude.
Swedes are quiet because directness, honesty, and simplicity are integral to their culture.
Small talk is unwelcome to most Swedes, who will only share valuable information without being verbose or dishonest.
Swedes are not chatty people, as their culture dictates that useless pleasantries waste others’ time, energy, and focus.
Thus, even in private conversations, Swedes use plain language to interact with others and only speak when they have something worth saying.
Also, see Are There Slums in Sweden? to learn more.
4 Reasons Swedes Are Not Chatty
Although Swedes’ habit of avoiding conversation with strangers might come off as isolationist, antisocial behavior, it is one of the ways that Swedes show respect to others.
This emphasis on valuable conversation comes from several cultural characteristics of the Swedish people:
1. Small Talk Is Meaningless in Swedish Culture
Swedes avoid greeting strangers, and even friends or acquaintances, unless they have something important to say.
Small talk and meaningless banter are not a part of Swedish culture. In Sweden, this chit-chat is termed kallprat, “cold talk,” or dödprat, “dead talk.” [1]
These terms are a clue that Swedish people see no meaning in sparking a conversation just for the sake of talking.
Those who engage in small talk in Sweden are generally seen as time wasters or people who do not respect the attention of others.
Even simple greetings of “hej” may fall under the label of kallprat, especially when carrying out business transactions or running into other people on the street. [2]
Swedes remain quiet unless they have important information to share, get straight down to business without any pleasantries, and sit in silence if they do not have anything valuable to say.
Although this approach to conversation-making may seem cold, distant, and unfriendly to foreigners, Swedes see it as a way of respecting each other, as they only share information that is valuable to others.
In doing so, they show others that they respect their time, do not want to waste their energy, and will not force them to focus on something completely meaningless.
2. Swedish Culture Values Simplicity
Sweden’s simplistic furniture designs have seen a host of popularity globally, but this simplicity extends far beyond aesthetic values. [3]
Swedish people also adhere to the “less is more” adage in their language and conversations.
They use the term lagom, which translates as “just enough” or “average,” to describe this simplicity. [4]
For example, Swedes do not aim to be the loudest person in the room nor desire to be entirely non-communicative. Instead, they use language moderately and restrain themselves to avoid becoming a spectacle or braggart.
This middle ground between the over-the-top and the bare minimum is a way of life that all Swedes value.
They only say things in the simplest terms possible and will not offer verbose explanations of what they can say in just a few words since, in most cases, a few words are just enough to communicate their thoughts.
This practice of speaking and writing often gives Swedes a reputation for rudeness, harshness, and honesty.
Still, this characteristic of Swedish culture hearkens back to the fact that they respect each other and do not want to waste time and energy dancing around a subject if they do not have to.
3. Swedes Divide the Public and Private Spheres of Life
While Swedes avoid communicating with others in public unless they have important information to share, they are much more open and honest about their emotions in private. [5]
Private conversations between friends and family often have much more gravity in Sweden.
While, to a foreign ear, Swedes may still come off as blunt and harsh in private conversations, they are much more direct and open about their feelings.
For example, Swedes may openly criticize a home-cooked dish made by a family member, but the family member is not likely to take offense.
Swedes are also more likely to ask questions that Americans or English people avoid, questioning their friends’ or families’ political beliefs, romantic lives, and religious beliefs.
These questions are not rude to a Swede, who avoids making small talk and only focuses on the “meat” of the conversation.
However, in the public sphere, Swedes may forgo all comments and avoid all conversations unless they need something or must give another person an answer.
In doing so, Swedes see their conversations as valuable to themselves and others.
4. Sweden Is Not Densely Populated
Sweden has a low population density of around 57 people per square mile (22 people per square km). [6] However, 87% of Swedish people live in urban centers in the south.
Since the population is widely spread over the country, interaction is not a large part of a Swede’s daily life, aside from any communication with family, friends, work, and school.
Thus, most Swedes have never needed small talk and do not often get the chance to use it.
In addition, those who live in rural areas or the north have far less exposure to tourists, immigrants, and other Swedes, which may impact their social skills and values.
With fewer people to interact with and less exposure to foreign social customs, Swedes’ appreciation for simplicity, honesty, and brevity in conversation has resisted any changes.
Are Swedes Shy?
Swedes are not shy, but they value restraint and make conscious efforts not to overpower a social situation.
Sweden’s stance as an egalitarian country permeates into its people, who ensure that they never appear boastful, overly chatty, or attention-seeking.
While a Swede’s quiet, reserved social habits may lead others to believe that they are introverted, antisocial, and shy, that is not the case.
Like all other people, some Swedes may be shy, but others are likely not. However, all Swedish people have acclimated to a culture that disapproves of extremism.
Instead, Swedes see value in providing equal opportunities for all, even in everyday conversations.
So, Swedes do not take too much time to say things, offer meaningful insights and questions, and make sincere statements in the interest of others.
By avoiding bragging, loudness, and conversation domination, Swedes allow others to share information that may be valuable.
References:
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